well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
