Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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