Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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