I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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