Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
