Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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