Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
