I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
