He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
