fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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