At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
