All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
