Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize