No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Randomize
