I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Be still, my beating vagina.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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