Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
