my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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