At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
