oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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