She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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