"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
