New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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