Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
