It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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