He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
