if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
