4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
