lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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