5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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