Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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