So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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