Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My ATM looks so different sober.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
