Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
