the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
