Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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