I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
