you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
