Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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