I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
