WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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