I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
