the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
