like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
