first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize