if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
