She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize