why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize