I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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