There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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