1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
