remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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