It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
