Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
