Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He felt like a one man threesome
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
