This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
