guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
