Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
